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Gertie Probes Boogers

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A little while ago, I received an email from a nice feller from Ohio:

Dear Gertie, I've been courting a nice Southern lady, and the other day she turned me down (again) saying, "Daggum, you're like a booger I can't thump off!" What is a booger?

Thanks, Tom

A booger can be any number of things including the following...

A term of endearment. If you say to your sweetie, "C'mere Booger and gimme a kiss," then you've called him or her a pet name. I have an aunt that calls her husband 'Booger.'

A haint (evil spirit). Some folks refer to ghosts as boogers. In Georgia, there's a city called Booger Bottom where the residents swear up and down that haints or UFOs fly around. My family is from Boogertown, Tennessee where lots of unexplained paranormal things happen like disappearing beer and mysterious lights over the pasture.

An insult. Calling someone you dislike names like "Booger face" or "Booger eater" is fightin' words because it's unbecoming to have nasal secretions on your face and eating boogers is a social taboo (except in private).

A silly person. The Cherokee Native Americans made goofy wooden masks and had "Booger Dances" a long time ago. The dancer wore the mask and pretended to be a Booger by acting silly - kinda like when Cousin Cletus drinks too much cold beer and starts taking his clothes off and tries to turn himself into a human blow torch by lighting his tail winds.

A nasal secretion. Your nose makes about a cup full of snot every day, on average. When you breathe in through your nose, the snot traps all the dirty stuff in the air like dust, cow hair, Brenda Sue's toilet water, and pollen. After these things get stuck in the snot, the snot dries out and when the dried snot clumps together, you get a booger. Boogers can be slimy and squashy or dry and flaky. A fun game to play is Flick the Booger, where you score points for successfully landing a booger on a target.

So you see, calling someone a booger might be fightin' words or huggin' words. In poor old Tom's case when his beau told him that he was like a booger she couldn't thump off, she meant that he was like a sticky nasal secretion that won't easily come off her finger. In other words Tom, leave her alone and pick someone else.


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