Gertie's Flying Tips

• Have a no-hands Vienna Sausage eating contest.
• Amaze your cabin-mates for hours with your remote controlled gas passer.
• Pack your famous fried chicken or nanner pudding in zip baggies, and then auction them off to the highest bidder.
• Everyone loves a good competitive game of Twister!
• A rousing game of "I Spy" will make the time go faster.
• Start a pillow fight.
• Hum your favorite Conway Twitty songs and ask the other passengers if they can guess the titles.
• Have a recipe swap.
• Pack pipe cleaners, Styrofoam balls, wiggle eyes, glue, and duct tape. Organize a craft show.
• Bring kazoos or a microphone and lead the passengers in show tunes. Try the Oscar Meyer weiner song, Gilligan's Island, and The Brady Bunch for starters.

Airplane Do's:

• Take your own pillow
• Stuff extra underwear in your coat pocket - just in case.
• Bring a portable CD player with your favorite Elvis CDs
• Bring a Bill Elliott Hot Wheels car to give to the hollerin' younguns
• Offer to share your Beano or Gas-X.
• Show off your Dale Earnhardt underwear

Airplane Don'ts:

• Airplane food makes you break wind, so be kind and don't light your honkers. Oh and don't claim your bottom burps - folks get antsy when you make loud noises up there. Just let it go and look shocked.
• Run out of the bathroom with your drawers down demanding more toilet paper.
• Moon passing planes.
• Pinch the stewardess's hiney, no matter how cute he/she is.
• Flick boogers - it's distracting.
• Show off your Batman underwear.
• Ask other passengers to hold your teeth.