Don't know the difference between getting loose or feeling tight? Wonder if the black flag has anything to do with killin' bugs? Let me school y'all on some racin' talk!
Flags. Just like traffic lights and Momma, flags tell the driver what to do.
Banking: this is the slope of the racetrack. Bristol has the steepest banking at 36 degrees.
Behind the Wall: if the car gets messed up real bad during a race, the pit crew takes it 'behind the wall' to pray and try and fix it. It ain't good when you go behind the wall because most of the time you don't finish the race.
Big E: this Dale Earnhardt's nickname (God rest his soul).
Bologna Burger: this is the preferred sandwich of Elliott Sadler.
Burn Out: at the end of the race, the winning driver burns out his tires and drives through that pretty painted grass. Afterward, the crew chief fusses at him for ruining the tires.
Clean Air: the lead car gets clean air because there ain't no car in front of it.
Dirty Air: this is the air that comes out of the lead car. Kinda like a car fart.
Draft: this effect allows two or more cars running nose-to-tail to go faster than a single car. The car in front cuts through the air helping the car behind go faster....dirty air or not.
Drag: this happens when the car surface ain't smooth no more and air can't flow over the surface making the car go slower. Sterling Marlin's got a lot of drag 'cause his hair's so big.
Going Low: to pass a car on the left side at the bottom of the track.
Going High: to pass a car on the right side at the top of the track and it don't have nothing to do with Mark Martin's sponsor.
Happy Hour: this is the last practice held before a race, usually the day before the race. If you're a Rusty Wallace fan, this is all the time.
Lap Traffic: Cars that are at least one full lap behind the leader like where Kyle Petty, Kenny Schrader, and Jimmy Spencer usually are.
Little E: this is the nickname for Dale Earnhardt, Junior.
Loose: this happens when the back end of the car has a mind of its own coming around a turn. My own back end gets loose in the wintertime when I can't get much exercise.
Love Tap: when a driver bumps the back end of the car in front to let him know to get out of the way. I perfected this a few years back in the carpool line - them Minivan Mommas got out of my way real quick.
NASCAR: stands for the National Association of Stock Car Auto Racing.
Pace Car: This car is the first one in line and leads or sets the "pace" of the drivers at the beginning of the race or for a restart. It's a sporty-looking thang and folks pay a lot of money to drive it.
Pit Road: this is where the pit crews fix the cars. Some folks also call this "Pit Row."
Pit Stall: each car has a little space on pit road just for them. The car stops in the stall before being serviced.
Pole: this is given to the fastest qualifier and he gets to start the race in first position. Jeff Gordon knows all about this thrill.
Restart: the waving of the green flag after a caution to restart the race.
Restrictor Plate: at Daytona and Talladega, cars must put an aluminum plate in front of the engine's intake manifold so that the cars won't go as fast. This is a major point of argument with the fellers down at the post office.
Road Course: these are racetracks that ain't oval shaped and have many turns. Drivers can't go fast here because managing the turns requires much skill. Sears Point and Watkins Glen are the two Winston Cup road courses.
Rookie: These are new drivers. Rookies can be identified by a yellow stripe on the rear bumper of their car and skid marks (both in and out of the car).
Short Track: these are tracks that are less than one mile in length.
Spotter: this person is sits up high on the track and talks with the driver about where other cars are located, wrecks, and gossip about other drivers.
Spin Out: when the car goes a complete 360º circle at least once. These are fun to do in the Winn Dixie parking lot at midnight.
Straight-Away: the straight section of a course where the driver can build up a lot of speed.
Super Speedways: this is a track that is one mile or more long.
"That's Racin'": this is said anytime someone complains of aggressive driving, mechanical problems, or accidents. Dale Earnhardt used to say this all the time.
Tight: this is when the front wheels lose traction before the rear wheels and the car is harder to steer than Bill Clinton at a Southern Woman Pink Panty show.
Trading Paint: this is when cars bump or rub into each other - it's just sharing the love.
Victory Lane: this is where all the partying goes on after the race.
Yellow Line Rule: a driver cannot go under the yellow line to pass other cars and get in a better position; this rule applies at Daytona and Talladega raceways and along most Georgia back roads.
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