This time of year, lots folks start gettin' all lovey-dovey and stuff. But ya know, there are folks don't want to get that way! What if it's yer mate that has lost that lovin' feelin'? Well, I got some tests and advice for y'all!
For You Ladies: Has Bubba lost that lovin' feelin'? Well, take this test and see! Click here for 10 ways to help Bubba rekindle that fire.
- When Bubba picks you up for a date, does he:
- Pull up and honk?
- Pull up, get out of the truck and holler?
- Pull up, get out of the truck, and knock on the door?
- On yer date, where do y'all eat?
- A sit down value meal at Dairy Queen?
- A salad, steak, and taters at Ponderosa?
- A peanut butter and 'nanner sandwich in the back of the truck?
- For entertainment, does Bubba take you:
- Bowling for dollars?
- Parkin' out behind the church bone yard?
- Home?
- During yer date, does Bubba:
- Spray air freshener at you?
- Hold yer hand?
- Ask you to pull his finger?
- While driving, what music does Bubba play?
- "I Like Big Butts, I Cannot Lie" by Sir Mix-A-Lot
- "If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me" by Jimmy Buffett
- "Forever and Ever, Amen" by Randy Travis
- At the end of yer date, does Bubba:
- Shake yer hand and take off runnin'?
- Kiss you real big?
- Slow his truck down to 10mph before shoving you out the door?
- On special occasions (like yer birthday, anniversary, or the start of NASCAR season), does Bubba:
- Stare blankly into his beer?
- Pick flowers from the side of the road and give them and an Elvis's Greatest Hits tape to you?
- Share his BBQ pork rinds during the play-offs?
Add up your points:
- a=0, b=2, c=5
- a=2, b=5, c=0
- a=2, b=5, c=0
- a=0, b=5, c=2
- a=2, b=0, c=5
- a=2, b=5, c=0
- a=0, b=5, c=2
If you score 0-7, then Bubba's love is about a quart low and he's definitely lost that lovin' feelin'.
If you score 8-14, then Bubba loves you about as much as he changes into clean drawers - every once in a while.
If you score 15-35, then Bubba's got that lovin' feelin' - he fell in a pile of you and got love all over hisself.
10 Tips to Rekindle Bubba's Love:
- Hide yer jumper cables then get him to jump you off
- Ask him to go motor oil shopping with you
- Learn to fry chicken and make it for him often
- Buy him pit road tickets at Talladega
- Two words: Apple Pie
- Two more words: Banana Puddin'
- Never beat him at bowling
- Never try to cook something better than his Momma
- Don't cut your hair
- Never criticize his favorite driver or his favorite football team
For You Fellers: Has Sweet Pea Lost Her lovin' feelin'? Well, let's find out!
- When you reach over to hold Sweet Pea's hand, does she:
- Spray you with pepper spray?
- Smile at you and pull your finger?
- Hold your hand?
- You see your girlfriend at the Dollar Store and when she notices you, does she:
- Wave and run up to give you a real big kiss?
- Call you over and get you to pay for her Red Man tobaccy and maxi pads?
- Quickly duck into the bathroom, dropping her sale items?
- During a romantic dinner at Red Lobster, does she:
- Pick her nose and thump the boogers at you?
- Order 2 lobsters from the front tank, wrap them in To Go boxes, then leave for a date?
- Talk about racin'?
- When Sweet Pea visits your trailer, and has to go to the bathroom, does she:
- Faint?
- Clean your sink and bring her own toilet paper?
- Call the law and get you arrested for cruelty to humans?
- While dating you, how does Sweet Pea wear her hair?
- Big and long
- Flat and greasy
- Short or bald
- When you visit Sweet Pea's home, does she:
- Clean house real nice, put the TV channel on CMT, and set out beer and cheese doodles?
- Keep up pictures of old boyfriends, hide the beer, and invite her Momma over?
- Answer the door naked?
- While riding in yer truck, does Sweet Pea:
- Complain about the mud, bug guts, air conditioning, and gun rack?
- Snuggle up next to you and help shift gears?
- Sing along to the radio and spit tobaccy juice on the floor board?
Add up your points:
- a=0, b=2, c=5
- a=5, b=2, c=0
- a=2, b=0, c=5
- a=2, b=5, c=0
- a=5, b=2, c=0
- a=2, b=0, c=5
- a=0, b=5, c=2
If you score 0-7, then Sweet Pea's lookin' for love - but not around you and she's lost that lovin' feelin'.
If you score 8-14, then Sweet Pea might shave her legs for you and she might not.
If you score 15-35, then Sweet Pea loves you almost more than hairspray.
10 Tips to Rekindle Sweet Pea's Love:
- Give her flowers, any time, all the time
- Bait her hooks and tie her flies when y'all go fishin'
- Never compare her to yer Momma
- She never farts, burps, or sweats - even if she does, she don't
- Bathe more than a couple of times a week
- John Deere truckin' caps can turn a girl's head
- Buy her a T-shirt with her favorite driver on it
- Not everybody likes Jerry Springer, once in a while watch Oprah with her
- Tell her she's pretty even if she ain't
- Chocolate is nice, but pit road tickets to the dirt track go further
