Gertie Explores Food Shopping when it MIGHT Snow

It happened.

The weatherman mentioned snow and now there ain't no milk or bread to be found in the entire state of Alabama.

What do folks with all that milk and bread?

First off, bread is a basic food, you know, you need it for sandwiches, toast, insulation (for shoes, doors, beer, windows, ears, etc.), coasters, spoon rests, and to sop gravy with.

Milk is needed for the children, gravy, cereal, and to make cheese if you're really bored. The main reason we need so much milk is for snow cream.

If you're a Yankee, then you probably don't know what a wonderful thang snow cream is. It's like homemade ice cream, except it don't take as long to make. Just mix up some milk, sugar, vanilla extract, and fresh clean snow and you're in for a treat! Now, don't get none of that yellow snow, mind you.

Okey dokey, I've told y'all why most folks use milk and bread, and now I'd like to share my analyzations on WHY folks buy milk and bread.....

I found something else real interesting when I was researching this milk-bread business. Sure, everybody buys milk and bread, but after that, the selection of the subsequent and essential snow survival items varies from men to women.

For example, if you're a man, you also buy beer, Little Debbie cakes, peanuts, chips, dip, cheese curls, and batteries. The beer is for obvious reasons. The sweets and salties are to build up another layer of fat to keep warm in the cold weather. The batteries are for the remote.

If you're a woman, you also buy toilet paper, beans, a couple of videos, cereal, peanut butter, aspirin, chocolate, and condoms. The toilet paper is for obvious reasons, and the beans are for eatin' and entertainment purposes. The videos, cereal, and peanut butter are for the younguns, and the aspirin and chocolate are to calm your nerves. You get the condoms 'cause the last time it snowed, you conceived Junior in a moment of passion brought on either by boredom or failing batteries in the remote.

Maybe them weathermen have more up their sleeves than just bread and milk sales.

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Revised - 12/08/17