Groucho Marx said, "Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana." This illuminating
quote is true for some, but I like to say, "Time flies when you're having fun; May Flies scare sisters."
Exactly how is explained in
June Bugs and May Flies.
Benjamin Franklin said there was nothing certain in this world except
death and taxes. While this is true for some folks, there is a certainty
in my life that not many city slickers - including the honorable Mr. Franklin - encounter very often:
The Certainty of Critters
Normally, visiting the lavatory at 4am is uneventful, except for when you marry someone who Dances With Squirrels!
Of Mice and Momma: My dad built the part-prefab, part-cedar, part-cinderblock, part-lumber, part-whazzit house I grew up in. His continual on-again-off-again-forgot-again construction allowed for many critters to take up residence.
Digging through the dirt in my garden, I remembered the simple lessons that farming taught me as a Child in the Garden.
Poor February. Not only does this month have the fewest days, it is the most under-appreciated and unpopular month of the year.
The dog days of summer have all kinds of fascinating superstitions and oddities, the oddest one being how I kept ending up in the doghouse! Read why in "Doggone Doghouse Days of Summer"!
Sure the little children have suffered but these kids nowadays just don't know how good they have it! I believe it's Suffer the Little Old Folks now!
Got a couch? They're used for more than mere sitting - they're a social necessity being used for anything like, a conversational piece, sleeping place for angry spouses, a trysting place, a loafing place and a porch decoration. Read more: Sofa Loafin' to share!
Back when I was young, Halloween was so simple. There wasn't any occult hoo-doo scary stuff, but just obnoxious silliness and fun. Read more in Trick or Treat - Smell My Feet.
Folklore, Fantasy and Downright Fibbin'
Deciding what and when to plant, and which plant to put it next to could be the difference between fat happy squash or shriveled sad squash.
You'd be surprised at all the Garden Fertilizer that's out there for you!
Uniting two families is a big deal and there are many traditions, superstitions, and rites that must be followed or you'll might end up on the Jerry Springer show. Learn all about Matrimonial Lore here.
The mysterious connection between UFOs, Kung-Fu and over-indulgence of alcohol is REVEALED for the first time ever as two *real* rednecks rip the lid off another government conspiracy, or a case of cold ones, whichever comes first. Burp. "The Great Kung Fu Conspiracy - a Short Story."
What a nightmare! Darlene just wanted to exchange her jeans at the Marty-Mart ... see what happens in this tale of horror at the Discount Store Terror!
Can absence make the heart grow fonder? It sure makes the teeth grow longer, the hair thinner, and other stuff. Pet-Pet misses her Booger - who has been locked away in the Georgia Big House. See: Pet-Pet's Lament