Winter precipitation is rare in L.A. - Lower Alabama. When we hear that it might be on the way,
we celebrate by having Winter
It's scary living in Tornado Alley during the spring, but when you get trapped a small basement
room with relatives, it's downright frightening! Read about my
Relative Air Pressure!
The weather here in the South has made a
Weather Watcher out of me!
Edwin Denby said, "There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of
good," and maybe that explains why I should've done more
Shower Dancin' in my youth.
Traveling? Visit historic and fun
Have you ever noticed the expressions on people's faces when they are dancing? What is that? Pain?
Joy? I explore the fascinating subject of backwoods bars rats in:
Gather 'Round All You Redneck
Do jerks know they are being jerks? For my latest jerk research read my
The Taming of the Jerk!
Did you ever wonder what the Super Heroes would do if they ever got bored? Find out in
Super Heroes Fight Boredom.
Critter 'n Varmint Humor
Groucho Marx said, "Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana." This illuminating
quote is true for some, but I like to say, "Time flies when you're having fun; May Flies scare sisters."
Exactly how is explained in
June Bugs and May Flies.
Benjamin Franklin said there was nothing certain in this world except
death and taxes. While this is true for some folks, there is a certainty
in my life that not many city slickers - including the honorable Mr. Franklin - encounter very often:
The Certainty of Critters
Every home should have at least one pooter. Why? Read my:
Ode to a Pooter.
Normally, visiting the lavatory at 4am is uneventful, except for when you marry someone who
Dances With Squirrels!
Of Mice and Momma: My dad
built the part-cedar, part-cinderblock, part-lumber, part-whazzit house I grew up in. His continual
on-again-off-again-forgot-again construction allowed for many critters to take up residence.
I'd like to introduce you to my Uncle Oscar and some of his new friends in,
"Uncle Oscar and the Possums."
Poor old Uncle Oscar had some smelly visitors. Read his triumphant (tragic?) story at:
Uncle Oscar Confronts the Pole Cats.
I wanted homemade beans, but wasn't prepared for the horror of:
The Weevil Within!
Oh Rats! There was an uninvited
guest in my home.
Since my encounter with a mouse, I've questioned my reaction and my imagination has run away with
me! Mouse Play.
"Mice Wars: The Phantom Menace"
Just another (and hopefully last) evil visitor that provided entertainment for many!
Redneck Women & Chillun
I'm surprised that I ever found a husband. Read all about my
It's been a long time since I've had to buy underwear and that's how I discovered that I'm
a Kept Woman!
What makes me tick? Read about my
I am the Queen of Kudzu!
To some, it's "war paint," to others, it's "putting on makeup," to me, it's
"Painting the Barn.".
My 20th High School reunion prompted a mid-life crisis, read about my
Viper Red Mid-life Gift!
All I wanted was silky hair! Check out:
A Hair-Greasing Experience
Do I really have a Gifted Child? Why sure! Here's how to
Care for an Officially Gifted
Hey, wanna cool off, but don't know how? Click
My neighbor's dog, Lucy, was digging in my garden and inspired this parody!
Lucy Diggin' Holes in my Garden.
Funny writer Keith Sanvidge and I have revised an old Sonny and Cher hit and renamed it:
"Hit the Snooze, Babe"
Like Dr. Seuss? Here's my take on "
One Fish, Two Fish, My Fish is Fried Catfish - Part 1
Read on for One Fish ...
Read on for One Fish ...
I'm tired of all the squirrels in the walls, so why can't anyone
Make the Squirrel Go Away?
Digging through the dirt in my garden, I remembered the simple lessons that farming taught me as a
Child in the Garden.
Poor February. Not only does
this month have the fewest days, it is the most under-appreciated and unpopular month of the year.
The dog days of summer have all kinds of fascinating superstitions and oddities, the oddest one being
how I kept ending up in the doghouse! Read why in
"Doggone Doghouse Days of Summer"!
Sure the little children have suffered but these kids nowadays just don't know how good they have
it! I believe it's Suffer the Little
Old Folks now!
Got a couch? They're used for more than mere sitting - they're a social necessity being used for
anything like, a conversational piece, sleeping place for angry spouses, a trysting place, a loafing
place and a porch decoration. Read more:
Sofa Loafin' to share!
Here are some pictures of the changing leaves in my backyard ...
Backyard: Autumn 2003
Summer is like a sanctuary from school, read my short summertime memoir:
Sanctuary of Summertime
Is Labor Day about labor? Why celebrate work? Find out by reading
The Labors of Labor Day.
Back when I was young, Halloween was so simple. There wasn't any occult hoo-doo scary stuff, but
just obnoxious silliness and fun. Read more in
Trick or Treat - Smell My Feet.
Folklore, Fantasy and Downright Fibbin'
Deciding what and when to plant, and which plant to put it next to could be the difference between
fat happy squash or shriveled sad squash.
You'd be surprised at all the
that's out there for you!
Uniting two families is a big deal and there are many traditions, superstitions, and rites that
must be followed or you'll might end up on the Jerry Springer show. Learn all about
Matrimonial Lore here.
The mysterious connection between UFOs, Kung-Fu and over-indulgence of alcohol is REVEALED for
the first time ever as two *real* rednecks rip the lid off another government conspiracy, or a case
of cold ones, whichever comes first. Burp.
"The Great Kung Fu Conspiracy -
a Short Story."
What a nightmare! Darlene just wanted to exchange her jeans at the Marty-Mart ... see what happens
in this tale of horror at the
Discount Store Terror!
Can absence make the heart grow fonder? It sure makes the teeth grow longer, the hair thinner,
and other stuff. Pet-Pet misses her Booger - who has been locked away in the Georgia Big House. See:
I had a dream - or did I? See what it's like to be
A Redneck Ms. American!
Ever watch the "World's Scariest Places" reality show? I did. Once. Click on over to
An American Redneck in London
to see what it would be like if a family of Southerners visited a haunted castle!
We've all heard of Urban Legends, but I've got some
Suburban Legends to share!
I have experienced a horrifying
journey or was it funny?!
Sittin' Purty Alabama is
trying to make it illegal to have a heap in your yard!
Oh, the horrors of this election. Read my humorous (and short) take how the media goes nuts on
recounts, press conferences, and acne in
An honest election? Yeah right. Check out:
"The Politics of Voting"
Copyright © 2019 Angela Gillaspie
Revised - 03/14/19