By: Angela Gillaspie © 2003 All Rights Reserved

Once upon a time, there was a goofy little kitty named Noodle. As you know, most cats are very serious, quiet, and charming animals, but not Noodle. He rolled in the mud, howled at the garbage truck, made loud slurpy noises when he drank, and crossed his eyes and burped loudly when other cats talked to him.

Mama Cat and Poppa Cat didn't teach Noodle these habits. They tried very hard to get him to behave, stay clean, and be quiet, but Noodle was too goofy and wanted to giggle and be silly all of the time.

"There's a time and a place to be goofy, Noodle!" Mama Cat scolded as they walked to the weekly cat meeting.

"And please don't joke around," Poppa Cat added as they sat and waited on Mo, the head cat, to take his place at the podium.

Mo began the meeting and each cat shared news about families, food, and the whereabouts of the dreaded animal catcher. When it was Noodle's turn, he burped, crossed his eyes, and told a silly joke:

"What do cats like to eat on a hot day?"

"Mice cream! Get it? MICE cream?"

And then Noodle fell on the floor laughing and burping, embarrassing Mama Cat and Poppa Cat, and making all of the other cats angry. Mo shook his big yellow head and ignored Noodle.

Noodle wasn't a very handsome cat either. His black fur was thin and spotted with white, part of his ear was missing, and his speckled nose was too long. When he spoke, it wasn't a polite, "Meow" but a loud "Muh-ROWR," which made the other cats quite embarrassed.

One day, Noodle walked along the bushes perfecting his burping technique when suddenly a net fell on him - the animal catcher caught Noodle!

A big bald man with rough hands put Noodle in a small cage with a water bowl, food dish, and large tray filled with tiny gray rocks. It was a stinky place too.

On the left side of Noodle was Butch, a very large black and white cat that growled and hissed whenever someone (or thing - like Noodle) got near him.

On Noodle's right side was Flora, a large and fluffy striped cat that constantly licked herself and whined, "Oh dear, I'll just never get this smell out of my fur!"

Noodle asked Flora, "Have you ever seen a catfish?"

"Of course!" Flora replied.

Noodle burped, crossed his eyes and said, "Cool! How did it hold the fishing pole?"

With a "Humph," Flora turned her back on Noodle and decided not to talk to him any more.

Noodle looked over at Butch, and asked him, "What color is a burp?"

Butch grunted, "That's silly. Burps don't have a color."

Noodle laughed, "Oh yes they do, they're BURP-PLE! You know, burple? Ha ha ha!"

Angry at being bothered with such silliness, Butch flattened his ears and hissed at Noodle.

Each day, different people walked along the cages and sometimes took an animal away. The animal never came back. Noodle was afraid and asked Flora what was happening, but she wouldn't speak to him. Noodle tried to ask Butch, but Butch just growled, so Noodle just burped and sat in his cage.

Soon, a tall thin lady came and took Flora. A couple of days later, a scruffy looking man chose Butch.

Noodle was left all alone. Whenever someone stopped in front of his cage and looked at him, he crossed his eyes and burped. I think I've already told you that Noodle was a very goofy cat.

One day not long after Butch left, a little boy named Josh came in looking for a kitty. His mommy said that he couldn't have a dog because their yard was too small, so Josh decided that a cat would be lots more fun than a fish or a turtle.

Josh held his mommy's hand and they walked along looking inside all the different cages. On the last row, Josh found Noodle.

Noodle looked up at Josh. He licked his whiskers, burped really loud, crossed his eyes and meowed, "What did the cat rest its head on when it went to sleep? A Cat-er-pillar. Get it? A cat - er - pillow? Ha ha ha ha ha!"

Of course Josh couldn't understand Cat Language, but he really enjoyed watching the small black kitten burp, cross its eyes, roll around and say, "Muh-ROWR! Rowr? Muh-muh-muh ROWR!!!"

Josh tugged on his mom's shirt and cried with delight, "This is the one Mommy! Can I have this one?"

Mommy didn't know what to think because she thought this kitty was really goofy, but seeing how excited Josh was, she decided that they would adopt the goofy kitty.

Noodle didn't know what was happening! They gave him a bath! How awful! Can you imagine? A real soap-and-water bath! Horrors! Next they gave him a shot that made him cry.

When Noodle arrived at his new home, Josh showed him around the house. Noodle looked around, sniffed, and finally relaxed a little.

Noodle pawed Josh's crayons while Josh did homework and when Josh looked at him, Noodle crossed his eyes and burped. During the day Mommy had to hide the crayons because Noodle liked to bury them in his stinky litter box.

"You're a goofy cat!" Mommy said to Noodle.

Noodle skittered across the kitchen floor chasing the dirt pile as Mommy tried to sweep. When Josh's sister vacuumed, Noodle howled just like he used to howl at the garbage trucks.

One night at suppertime, Noodle sat on the floor and looked up and crossed his eyes at Josh. Mommy asked Noodle, "What do you want, you goofy cat?" and then Noodle burped.

Loud!

Josh was afraid that Mommy would get mad and want to get rid of Noodle because burping at the table was bad manners.

Mommy put her fork down, wiped her mouth, and looked down at the scrawny black kitty.

Josh thought, "Oh no, here it comes! She's going to get rid of Noodle!"

Mommy took a deep breath ... and ... crossed her eyes and burped.

Loud!

"You're a very goofy cat," Mommy said, "but this is a very goofy family!"

And they lived happily ever after!

THE END.

Stay tuned for more SouthernAngel's goofy articles!