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Gertie's List of 30 Fun Things to do on Halloween

Boo, Y'all!

Ain't got nothin' to do? Well, I wanna give y'all some idears on things to do just in case you get bored on Halloween.

Play country music with your kazoo

Tip some cows

Light a fart in someone's honor

Take your cousin Snipe Huntin'

Watch Hee Haw reruns

Find a dark hall that echoes and yodel

Go to Lowe's and buy some mouse traps for stocking stuffers

Fry up some pickles, sliced Spam, and wash em down with a Coke and some peanuts

When you speak, only quote Elvis song lyrics

Try not to think about possums

Teach a youngun how to make purty noises with his armpit

Start a debate on what wine would go with chitlins and collards

Make sound effects everytime you move

Scratch yourself. Now, isn't that better?

Have a tobaccy spittin' contest

Say the word "Irish Wristwatch" 5 times

Go frog giggin'

Watch the bug zapper for a spell

Go to the dump and shoot rats

Go to the dump and find Uncle Cletus a Christmas present

Pick out a new bumper sticker for your bowling ball

Put a gun rack on Junior's bicycle

Install a tire swing in Junior's room

Blindfold a friend and play 'guess-the-appliance' in Uncle Ralph's yard

Catch some new catfish and crawdads for the aquarium

Take a walk and pretend to be a car

Get some pork rinds, beer, tissue, and watch that great love story, "Deliverance"

Write a letter to your congressman requesting that "Free Bird" be the national anthem

Buy a new magazine for the bathroom

Sing along with Roger Miller

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