In His Hands

By: Angela Gillaspie © March 1999

In every mom's life, there are times when we worry. The things we worry about can be both trivial and heart-stopping.

One day, when Nicky was two years old, he staggered into the room complaining that he couldn't walk. He and his five-year-old brother were in the living room giggling and jumping around, so I thought he was just being silly. I picked him up kissed his neck and set him back down.

He took two steps, fell, and smashed his head into the side of the doorway. Before he had a chance to cry, I scooped him up and off to his bedroom to rock him and look at the angry welt beginning to rise on his forehead. We rocked and talked about his 'boo-boo' and then he said he felt better. I put him down, he took one step, grabbed for the wall and fell down again.

Panicking, I called my pediatrician's office to schedule an emergency visit. By the time my seven-year-old daughter got home from school, all I had to do was load the kids in the car and head to the pediatrician's office.

Our pediatrician couldn't figure out what was causing Nicky's imbalance, so he recommended for Nicky to see a Ear, Nose, and Throat (ENT) doctor. The next day, the ENT doctor couldn't find anything wrong and sent us back to our pediatrician who then made an appointment for Nicky to see a neurologist. I was totally insane with fear.

Everything was happening so fast. Nicky was no longer staggering; he was alert, giggling, and singing - just your typical active two-year-old. I had hives, couldn't eat, and my red-rimmed eyes were raw from crying.

The next morning, while getting everyone ready to leave, I had been praying and crying, "God please, please help us." I sat down on the bed to catch my breath. From the kitchen, I heard Nicky's sweet little voice singing: "He's got Niiii-keeee in His hands! He's got Niiii-keeee in His hands! He's got Nick-eee IN HIS HANDS!"

Stunned, I walked to the kitchen and stared at my sweet toddler as he gave me a message from God. God said, "Hello, Angela? This is God. Stop worrying. I have Nicky in My hands." Sure enough, Nicky turned out fine. He had a case of temporary vertigo from bouncing around in the living room with his brother.

Why couldn't I just "let go and let God"? In Matthew chapter six, verse 27, as Jesus preached His Sermon on the Mount, I am reminded, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" We cannot do this, nor can we add a single hour to a loved one's life by worrying. What we can do is have faith and pray.

My own emotional God created me in His image. I have fear, I endure sadness, I have anger, and I feel joy. I don't believe that God was angry with me for worrying for He knew that I trusted Him. God gently reminded me that He was near and had everything in His hands.

The next time that you feel overwhelmed by life, strife, and the unknown, be comforted and remember that you are in His loving hands.