The Bountiful Barbie Dream

By: Angela Gillaspie Copyright © March 2000

Last night, I awoke suddenly from a dream and thought, "Oh no! I must do something about this!" I rolled over, punched my pillow, and then drifted back to sleep as I pondered the weirdness of my dream.

This morning, all I can think about is my dream. There in an alcove of my subconscious, I descended a stairwell and found myself in a dim hallway. At the end of this hall, I entered a brightly-lit room. There on the floor were Barbie dolls, hundreds of them! A few were still in their packages, but most of them were strewn about as if someone had abandoned them in the midst of their play.

There were Barbies in various stages of undress, Barbies riding in cars and on motorbikes, and even Barbies from the late 1960's -- MY Barbies! Oh I couldn't believe it! One was the longhaired brunette doll (of which most of the hair was gone) that was dressed like a nurse with that cool-looking navy blue cape. Next to her was a longhaired blonde doll that my older sister cherished; this doll had a faded rose-colored taffeta dress barely clinging to its body. I even saw that Ken doll whose hair was fuzzy and a brownish-green color.

Oh! And there was my most favorite Barbie of all: she had a blonde bubble type of hairdo and wore a navy blue stewardess uniform. I sat down and looked at her closely. Yes! This was the Barbie from my youth! In one of her ears was a straight pin with a red bulb on the end. I would use Momma's sewing pins for earrings on my Barbies.

Sadly, my delight was short-lived. I noticed that several of the newer Barbies were headless. I tried to put the heads back on the bodies but they wouldn't stay on. I reached for my Bubble-headed Barbie and her head fit on all of the old Barbie's bodies. Oh joy! Then ... I woke up.

This has been plaguing me. Most kids pull the heads off of their Barbies. I remember pulling the heads off my Barbies so that I could put a wash cloth cape on them and they could rule the kingdom in my bedroom. Body transplants were also fun. I remember mismatching heads and bodies for the sheer entertainment of it.

Why did Mattel change the design of Barbie so that when her head came off -- she was done for?

Back then, the legs would come off too and I had a ball pretending that Barbie needed medical help and Dr. Green-haired Ken would reattach her leg and then take her out on a date. The brunette Barbie would always be the jealous one, so I would always tease her hair so that it stood up and she would wear the ugliest clothes (that hideous halter-top pink polka dotted dress).

I have a dream that Mattel should redesign Barbies so the heads and limbs should be interchangeable and that my boys should no longer be able to disrobe and decapitate their sister's doll when it gets in the path of Hot Wheels and Play Dough.

A Barbie is way too expensive to be played with for just a week until your brother finds it and defiles it. Too many times I've had to give my boys Barbie-sensitivity-training while my daughter clings to her special needs Barbie and sobs in the background.

If Mattel won't redesign Barbie, then perhaps Mattel could establish some sort of support group for owners of maimed Barbies. Maybe this is not an issue with the younger generation of Barbie fans because they never knew how good we old timers had it with the interchangeable heads and appendages.

For now I'll be forced to make due with duct tape to reattach limbs or allowing my boys to use the naked and headless Barbies for pellet gun practice.

Stay tuned to see what SouthernAngel does with the Hot Wheels!