Kid Control

By: Angela Gillaspie © June 2000

There was another school shooting death last week -- another tragic statistic to be tallied. This time the victim was a 35-year-old language arts teacher and the shooter was a 13-year-old seventh grader at a Florida middle school. According to news reports, the student was angry at being sent home for throwing water balloons, got the gun from Granddaddy's dresser drawer and went looking for trouble.

The ever-watching and opinionated public is screaming, "More gun control!" Others scream back, "Where were the parents?"

Gun control has its good points and its bad points. Growing up, most of my friends had a healthy respect for guns because they went hunting. Guns were used as a tool for sport and for food, not for threatening people (except for Uncle Booger, but he's in jail now). Make faces all you want, but hunting isn't going away. Besides, there are too many of us to count that enjoy venison steaks, squirrel gravy, and turkey potpie.

On the other hand, if Granddaddy had a lock on his gun, then this recent school shooting just might not have occurred.

Placing blame on the parents is an easy thing to do. Many are wondering, "Can't this parent control her child?" Parents cannot control what their children do 100% of the time. How I wish we could! My living room would not have naked Barbies on the floor, there would be quiet when I commanded it, and all of my toilet seats would remain down if I had total control of my three children.

Nowadays, the psychologists and other educated folks are telling us that it is wrong to spank our children and that achieving high scores at school is unneeded. Why? It causes undue pressure on the children.

In my experience, the only pressure I felt was when I didn't follow the rules in school. If I did something wrong, I was paddled, and when I arrived home I was on the receiving end of a switch. My parents knew my teachers and the few times I earned bad grades, the school didn't have to call my parents because my parents were there at the school automatically.

Granted, there are many stresses on children today. There are more single parents, more violence in the media (entertainment and news), and less morality reflected by our elected leaders. Our kids need control now more than ever because, God forbid, they may want to go into politics when they get older.

This is an outbreak of complacency. Kids stop trying and begin to expect things to be handed over to them. Why expend effort when it is OK to stay in your own little comfort zone?

The other day on the news, I saw where Alabama high school seniors were given an eighth-grade level exit exam. Many failed. In addition to this, I read where Alabama State school officials recommended that the Alabama Board of Education set the passing scores to be 44% on the new mathematics and science exams and 59% on the reading and language graduation exams next year and still get a diploma.

So, the Alabama Board of Education believes that failing is passing. Out in the real world, failing leads to unemployment, unemployment leads to no money, and no money could possibly lead to selling drugs behind the Wal-Mart Super Center.

If below average reading and writing skills are learned, can you imagine this child as an adult slowing down on the interstate while he attempts to read the flashing road signs?

Working towards a goal teaches children respect. They will witness how difficulty can turn into triumph. I'm not so sure that experiencing failure is a bad thing, either. Allowing a child to experience failure teaches the child that a different approach is required. This is how our children can learn character -- through the trial and error process. Perseverance pays, but giving up doesn't.

If kids are "dumbed down" and they are confronted with a problem, they will not think through the solutions, but seek the quickest way to achieve instant gratification. Like shooting a language arts teacher because a child is angry about being sent home from school for throwing water balloons.

Angela Gillaspie Copyright © 2000

Stay tuned to see what SouthernAngel gonna gripe about next!