A Tale of Sick Kiddies

By: Angela Gillaspie Copyright © March 2002

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times - it was the age of retching and fevers. It was the epoch of congestion and influenza - it was the season of sneezes and Jell-O.

Last winter, Child 1 got the flu, and then a day later Child 3 caught it. I tried to isolate Child 2 by telling him not to breathe near Child 1 or Child 3. Seeing that Child 2 was afraid of catching the crud, his loving siblings found the thrill of germ warfare and combined forces by using booger flicks, intentional targeted coughing, and heavy breathing to terrorize Child 2.

Sure enough, right about the time Child 1 and Child 3 got well, Child 2 became sick. He tried to re-infect them, but unfortunately (for him) they were resistant to the bug. However, he did spread his love (and virus) to Mommy and Daddy.

Now with worries that our new baby (Child 4) would get sick, I meet the kids at the door as soon as they get home from school with a jug of antibacterial wash, disinfectant cleaner, and a bucket of soapy bleach water. Keeping the kids clean at home has prevented Child 4 from getting sick so far, but since my other three kids spend six or so hours at three different schools, they are exposed to a soup of evil viruses, infections, and microbes with an attitude.

A perfect example of how my sweet children are host bodies to the 'cootie du jour' was when the stomach flu invaded my home. It began when Child 3 spewed his lunch next to the sofa while watching Sponge Bob Square Pants. Several days later, Child 1 and then Child 2 came down with the bug. I locked Child 4 into a germ-proof room complete with HEPA filtering and demanded that EVERYONE get disinfected, fumigated, cleaned, and decontaminated before entering. As it turned out, right about the time Child 1 and Child 2 were eating solid food, both Daddy and I caught it. Thankfully, the plumbing held up and Child 4 didn't catch it.

We all recuperated nicely and a couple of weeks later, my sister drove over three hours from Georgia for a short visit to celebrate my birthday. The day after she returned home, she called me and thanked me for sharing my home, my children, and my stomach flu.

I asked her if she happened to be watching Sponge Bob Square Pants when she got sick, but that set off another round of dry heaves. Nevertheless, I apologized profusely and offered advice for handling the upcoming high fever and purging of the digestive system. Trying to be optimistic, I feebly added, "Hey, it's a great way to lose weight!" She quickly hung up the telephone either disgusted at me or in a hurry to return to the bathroom.

These are both the best and worst of times, because my children will continue to infect other family members by sneezing, hugging, laughing, and flicking boogers. That's the price we pay for being such a close family sharing love and the occasional cootie.

Speaking of cooties, I wonder if I should tell my sister about the head lice letter that the elementary school sent me? Hmm, she may already know.

Stay tuned for more SouthernAngel's contagious stories!