Boiling Over

By: Angela Gillaspie © November 2000

This past week has been absolutely amazing. We've seen the media do all kinds of neat tricks. Like many of you, I've been monitoring the television, watching for any breaking news on the election.

Recently, while watching one of Bush's press conferences, I couldn't pay any attention to what he was saying because of the distraction of the huge three-inch-or-so bandage on Bush's right cheek. When asked, he replied that he had an infection.

The bandage was huge! You would've thought that Bush's public relations officer and chief make-up person would have advised that a smaller and less-noticeable bandage should have been applied to Bush's boo-boo.

The media wasn't being satisfied with Bush's answer, so they hunted down Bush's Communications Director, Karen Hughes and interviewed her about Bush's ailment.

For a good ten minutes or so, they asked every question imaginable about Bush's infection. Wow, what prowess the reporters showed! The public has a RIGHT to know! Did Bush have skin cancer? Could this affliction affect his health before he will see the final recount? (Side note: I wonder if we all might die before the recount of the recount of the recount is over.)

Smiling, Hughes reported that it was basically a bump that was apparently aggravated by Bush's exercise routine.

I wondered what kind of exercising would affect a bump on his face. Hmm, grinning widely while doing aerobics to Carl Douglas' Kung Fu Fighting? Strenuously pursing his lips while lifting free weights? Power munching two five-pound bags of M&Ms while riding a stationary bike and watching Face the Nation? Or, could he just have been staring into a hand mirror nervously picking at his zit while waiting on encouraging news from Florida?

Anyway, Hughes went on to say that the boil was draining nicely and since Bush was taking an antibiotic, things should heal quickly. OK, I have one thing to say about this: Eww.

Of course, hearing of Bush's mutant draining zit is almost as repulsive as imagining this election never ending and having Clinton remain as our president forever.

Stay tuned for more SouthernAngel's thots!