By: Angela Gillaspie © January 2006-2008

Poor February. Not only does this month have the fewest days, it is the most under-appreciated and unpopular month of the year.

Why has February had such a hard time? There's the drab weather, figuring out leap year, and the fact that February is the hardest month to spell with that Feb-U-airy versus Feh-BREW-airy thing.

February was also unpopular throughout history. Different civilizations took turns disrespecting Poor February by calling it off-color names. One Anglo-Saxon name for February, "Solmoneth" meant "mud month," while another Anglo-Saxon group called it "Kale-monath" which meant "cabbage month." Back before my time, my great-great aunt called February "cooter munth" meaning that it was the month of cooters (bedbugs) and was time to change the straw in the mattresses.

At the very beginning, Poor February had an unlucky start. Back in 738 BC, the calendar only covered the ten months of planting season. Wanting to change this, Roman Emperor Numa Pompilius approximated the length of twelve moon cycles to be 355 days, and then increased the length of a year to be this number.

Making room for these additional days, Emperor Pompilius added two more months, January (named after Janus, the Roman god of doors and gates, forefather of the Ace Hardware god) and February (named after Februus, the Roman god of purity and cousin to Mr. Clean). Obviously the Romans had some peculiar beliefs since they named months after good hygiene and entryways; they also thought that even numbers were evil, causing earthquakes, floods, and ingrown toenails.

Fearing seismic bunions, Emperor Pompilius distributed the extra days and made sure the months had an odd number. He ended up with seven months having 29 days, four months having 31 days, and just one unlucky even-numbered month with 28 days.

Since February was the last month (January didn't become the first month until a few centuries later), Emperor Pompilius decreed that February would be the evil even-numbered short month from then until eternity. Thus starting Poor February's curse.

In 45 BC, Julius Caesar had a chance to make things normal for February when he changed the number of days in the year to 365. Caesar wasn't bothered with even number voodoo, so when he doled out those extra ten days, all the months ended up with 30 or 31 days, well, except for Poor February. It stayed short with 28.

I've always had trouble keeping up with which month had 30 or 31 days and I never could remember that little ditty - "Thirty days hath September/The rest of this poem I can't remember."

The way I finally learned this was to make a fist and then count my knuckles and the hollows between them. Every knuckle represented a 31-day month and the hollow referred to a month that didn't have 31 days. Start on your pointer finger's knuckle, (January, 31 days), then go to the hollow, (February, not 31 days). Continue, going knuckle-hollow-knuckle-hollow until you get to the end at your little finger's knuckle, (July - 31 days), start back on your pointer finger's knuckle (August - 31 days). See? Clear as mud, or "Solmoneth," as those Anglo folks said.

Poor February got gypped on days, lost in politics, and is a booger to spell, but many good things have begun to happen during this month. Like Groundhog Day on February 2, which honors a weather-predicting dirt rat, I mean, how fun is that? There's Valentine's Day on February 14, and while it ain't Christmas, it's similar with all the gift-giving, candy, teeth-flossing, and arguing. Don't forget the relatively new holiday of President's Day, which is nice, but the President's Day Sales are what get me excited.

There are two more good things that happen in this blighted month - NASCAR season starts and my birthday.

Stay tuned for more of Southern Angel's fun memoirs!