By: Angela Gillaspie © 2005

Gettin' hitched? Congratulations!

Uniting two families is a big deal and there are many traditions, superstitions, and rites that must be followed no matter if you're a Catholic, protestant, or vegetarian. For example, deciding when to have the ceremony is important for future happiness. Pick the wrong month, day or time, and you and your future spouse might be cursed and end up on the Jerry Springer show. Also, picking what color to wear and choosing the luckiest pair of shoes is important too.

First you need to choose the right month. I found this old poem that may help:

"Married when the year is new, he'll be loving, kind and true.
When February birds do mate, you wed nor dread your fate.
If you wed when March winds blow, joy and sorrow both you'll know.
Marry in April when you can, joy for maiden and for man.
Marry in the month of May, and you'll surely rue the day.
Marry when June roses grow, over land and sea you'll go.
Those who in July do wed, must labor for their daily bread.
Whoever wed in August be, many a change is sure to see.
Marry in September's shrine, your living will be rich and fine.
If in October you do marry, love will come but riches tarry.
If you wed in bleak November, only joys will come, remember.
When December snows fall fast, marry and true love will last."
(Author Unknown)

According to this little ditty, the best months to wed are January, April, September, November, and December. The worst months are May and July. Travellers should choose June, and if you like change, then August is the month for you. In February and March, you'll break even, and in October you'll have love, but it'll be a while before you get that raise at work.

Now that you've chosen the month, you'd better pick a good day. According to this rhyme, Wednesday is best:

"Monday for health, Tuesday for wealth, Wednesday best of all, Thursday for losses, Friday for crosses, and Saturday for no luck at all."

(Hmm, with all the weddings on Saturdays nowadays, maybe this is why the divorce rate is so high!)

What time to have your wedding? According to the lore, weddings should be completed in the last 30 minutes of the hour when the clock hands are rising. The rising clock hands suggest rising fortune and success.

Now that you've figured out when you're getting married, your next move is to decide what you need for your new home. In the old days, the bride brought the contents of her "hope" chest to the marriage. From the time she was little, she planned for her wedding collecting, buying, and making things and then storing them in a large wooden chest.

For the groom, the engagement ring is the most important thing he will bring to the marriage. Many moons ago, the engagement ring started out as being the groom's partial payment for the bride, plus it was a symbol of his promise to marry. In my day, the father of the bride's shotgun worked just as well as any engagement ring.

Historically, the bride and groom weren't the only ones receiving stuff because it was common practice for the betrothed families to exchange property. The groom's family coughed up things like money, pigs, or land to give the bride's family to compensate for the loss of their daughter, and the bride's family gave a dowry made of things like money, land, trinkets, or potatoes to the newlyweds for their new home.

Another way for the newlyweds to get stuff was to have a bridal shower. They say that showers originated from a Dutch maiden who fell in love, but her family couldn't afford a dowry. Her friends "showered" her with enough gifts to pay the dowry.

Great! You've picked a date and you're on your way to getting stuff, now ... what do you wear? There are many rules and superstitions about what to wear and how to wear it.

• The wedding ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand because this finger supposedly had a vein that led directly to the heart. Boy, that'd be scary if you broke your finger - wouldn't you break your heart too?
• The bride will be lucky if she marries in old shoes. I wonder if the older the shoes, the luckier the bride? Oh boy, get Granny's 1950 silver lamé sling-back dancin' shoes and look out Vegas!
• The bridal veil evolved from two sources. First, a woman covered her face when she was engaged to let everyone know that she was both no longer available. Second, the veil disguised the bride so that those pesky evil spirits that like to wreak havoc at weddings couldn't recognize her.
• Young brides should wear their hair long and loose to show their innocence and youth. (See? Big hair has always been popular!)
• Brides shouldn't wear their wedding dresses before the wedding day or the wedding won't happen.
• Brides that wear pearls on their wedding day will be unhappy and have much heartache.
• Bridesmaids must all dress the same. First, because there had to be at least ten witnesses to make a marriage legal and second to confuse any uninvited evil spirits.
• After the wedding, folks would rip off pieces of the dress for good luck. Also, friends of the groom pulled off their socks and threw them and the first to hit the groom on the nose would get married next.

You've put away the pearls, got seventeen bridesmaids, the veil, the ring, and great big hair. But wait... what colors should you choose? Oh boy, pick the wrong colors and your marital bliss will be a marital miss. Here are some tips:

• Ancient Greek veils were flame red and early Christians chose white or purple
• White wedding gowns became popular back in Louis XII's time when he married Anne of Brittany. Before then, women just wore their best dress, usually colored yellow or red.
• In Biblical times, most wedding dresses were blue to symbolize purity.
• In China and Japan, brides have traditionally worn white because white is the color of mourning. No, they weren't mourning the evil mother-in-law, but the bride leaving her family of birth to join her hubby's family.

Still confused about your colors? Here's another catchy poem to help:

Marry in white - you've chosen him right.
Marry in blue - your love will be true.
Marry in pearl - you'll live in a whirl.
Marry in brown - you'll live out of town.
Marry in red - you'd be better off dead.
Marry in yellow - you're in love with the fellow.
Marry in green - you love being seen.
Marry in pink - your family will link!
Married in gray - you will go far away.
Married in black - you will wish yourself back.

I found different endings for yellow (ashamed of your fellow), green (ashamed to be seen), and pink (your spirit will sink), apparently written by a really happy person.

With all this information, you can now painlessly choose your wedding date, assemble your trousseau, and decide what clothes and colors to wear so you will be lucky, have riches, hide from malicious ghouls, avoid heartache, and to feel justified in having the biggest wedding hair in all the county.

Congratulations!

Stay tuned for more SouthernAngel lore!